Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Accomplishments & "Getting Family To Help Around The House"

Women, in general, particularly stay at home/work at home/homeschooling moms (and God forbid one woman carries all three of those roles, lol), claim that they want someone (mainly their husband sometimes even the kids) to at least notice what they do around the house. Better yet, wouldn't it be great if they actually *helped* with those things?

I think part of the reason they want to be noticed is because we (as a society) are people that feel we need to be productive nearly 100% of our waking hours. I admit to being guilty of this myself.

We are also people (not sure if this is societal or human nature) that tend to crave validation. Generally if we look (and with the existance of the internet, we don't have to look far), we can find such validation. BUT, is it a good thing?

Take, for instance, a stay at home mom who gets on a message board/chat room/whatever to complain about how she *always* has to do everything around the house and no one wants to help her. She has tried everything. I bet she hasn't tried *everything* (absolutes are rarely true, my young padawan).

But, of course, she gets validation. What mom hasn't had these thoughts? Me included, of course.

Let's look closer though.

Look how she writes.

Look at her complaints.

If she voices that, and possibly worse, to her family, *why* would they WANT to help her?

Here is the secret to getting your family to help around the house. Let them WANT to help you. How do you do that you ask?

I have often found myself wishing for more help, more appriciation.

My husband and I were having a discussion the other day and I was venting because lately I have found myself with not enough hours in the day which has been stressing me out.

"So again, nothing I do is good enough," he said to me.

I thought for a moment and then told him something along the lines of, "If you believe that then it's from within inside of yourself that the inadequacy begins."

I said it.

But it took a couple days before it's meaning truly took hold.

If I am wanting praise and appriciation, I need to look no further than inside, myself.

The same goes for getting family to help around the house. Do it for them, or if they house isn't as sparkling as you would like, let it go. If you can't let it go, do it yourself. Don't burden your children or your husband with it. Take it on as your own, and feel awesome about it. That is what you accomplished today. Houses with kids aren't meant to be sparkling.

This is not a new concept. Unschoolers around the world have been practicing this concept for years. It works, but the key is that you have to do it first, then you will see the result of it. I had to pick up after my girls for months before they willing got out the cleaner and rags and mopped the kitchen floor on their hands and knees. It works, believe me.