Monday, June 15, 2015

Picture Me Baby! Three Months Old

At three months old...
-The baby acne is finally all cleared up.
-I still fuss a lot. Getting the tongue tie fixed helped. A bit.
-I nurse pretty well now, but I'm ravenous and mama doesn't always produce enough.
-I still have cradle cap though mama and daddy have gotten a lot of it out during bath times.
-My family should probably put me on the floor more so I can practice rolling, but I'm so fussy and there is always someone willing to hold me.
-I have my daddy's body temperature. Always warm!
-I sleep really well at night. I even slept 7 hours straight within this past month and lots of 5 and 6 hour stretches!
-I do not nap well during the day. 20 minute naps. That's part of the reason I'm so fussy.
-I am starting to laugh a bit.
-I am very particular. I like things a certain way and only that way!

This months photo shoot theme:

Our family loves the TV Show, Once Upon A Time. So, dad made some props and we were Storybrooke bound!

Friday, May 15, 2015

Picture Me Baby! Two Months Old!

At two months old I...
-think they are calling my baby acne eczema now. Which means mom probably has something she needs to cut from her diet. She's not looking forward to that.
-still fuss a lot. Maybe it's because of the tongue tie. I go to get it fixed next week so we will see...
-nurse better, but I'm still having difficulties with my latch.
-still have cradle cap. Mama will let it go away on its own.
-am trying really hard to roll from back to belly. I've almost got it!
-still love music
-must be wrapped in my "baby burrito" (aka Miracle Blanket) in order to sleep or I will smack myself in the face.
-am about 11 pounds now and am 23 inches long.

Here is my two month shoot (which was much harder than my one month shoot). We picked Avengers since Age Of Ultron came out this month. My dad and sisters got to see it in the theatre, but mama stayed home with me. Thor isn't anyone's favorite, but he was the easiest to pull off since we already had the cape!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Longest recovery of my life!

I had Zayden 5 1/2 weeks ago. I lost at least a liter of blood via a post pardum hemorrhage. I'm still not back to my own normal hemoglobin levels. I'm still bruising and I'm exhausted. More than just "having a newborn" tired. I have not bounced back well from his traumatic birth at all.

And now... Gall stones. Ugh! More recovery. And pancreatitis. I'm currently sitting in the hospital, bored out of my mind, without my kiddos, waiting. Waiting for the doctors to tell me what happens next. 

The pain started Monday at 12:30 in the afternoon. Motrin 800 got rid of the pain until the next morning. By 10:30 Tuesday morning I was in tears! I went into immediate care and waited. They said gall stones in my bile ducts, gave me pain meds and I waited. They transferred me to the big hospital in my town (the small hospital has a lesser wait time... Usually) and I got to ride in an ambulance. Woo hoo! Got to the hospital and waited. Noticing a theme?

At the main hospital they told me that I was facing a surgery and they would go through my throat to remove the stones, but first... More waiting. Oh, and no eating. I really wish I had eaten lunch before we left! I've had an ultrasound that confirmed the presence of stones, but did not find any stones in the ducts. So now they are saying that there will be no surgery, but I still can't eat. Thirty hours and counting. They are talking about no eating for a couple days! Now, I'm not food obsessed. I don't eat all that much, but holy cow am I hungry!!!

Currently I'm waiting again. Waiting on the doctors to tell me how long I have to be here and how long I have to go without eating. I'm on morphine for pain. I sort of just wish they'd give me something to make me sleep through the next couple days.

I miss my husband. I miss my kids. I miss my bed. Here's a picture of all of those things (courtesy of Belle Rose Photography). Because... Pictures. That's why.

Visit her.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Picture Me Baby! One Month Old!

Yes, I realize he was a month old yesterday, but he didn't sleep. He fussed all day.

At one month old I...

-still have baby acne.
-fuss a lot. No, literally. If I'm not sleeping or eating, most of the time I'm fussing.
-nurse like I'm trying to wrestle a mountain lion.
-am starting to get cradle cap.
-can roll from my belly to my back... so much for tummy time!
-am really good at holding my head up.
-am finally starting to notice people more. I still love my patterns though!
-love music. It almost always calms me down.

My parents wanted to pick themes for my monthly pictures so the first one is Disney! Daddy made me this Baymax shirt and calls me Zaymax sometimes!

And just because I had it on this morning and it fits with the theme...

Here are just some pretty ones that mama took because she loves to take pictures.

Look at those lashes!!!

Bellybuttons, Noses and Lips. Oh My!

#ZaydenFashion-Month 1

Instagram fun at FeildsOfFortune #zaydenfashion

Courtesy of Belle Rose Photography on Instagram 

yes! Pumpkins in April.

#babymowhawk and another Halloween outfit!


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Lessons From Zayden- Expectations

Oh no! A reading post! So many words...

I've learned very incredibly valuable lessons from all three of my kiddos (hence the blog title). I expect I will talk about each of them (the kids, that is, and the lessons they've each taught me). Even Zayden who is only a month old is already enlightening me.

About expectations.

I had many things built up in my head about a new baby, years before he was even concieved. Rationally I knew better. However, I'm more emotional than rational. I envisioned...

-Zayden's birth would be great! A home birth. This was the plan before he had a name. Before he was even a spark in our eyes. (Isn't that something people say?) I hadn't learned about home births until after I had had Lilly (no, sadly, I didn't think about how women had given birth before hospitals) and was sad to have not been able to have that experience. And Lilly's birth had been pretty great even though it was a hospital birth. So this one would be even better. Right? Right?

-I would nurse him. I'd do better this time. It would work this time. Maybe by magic or something...

-I'd cloth diaper from the beginning. Save the world from all those size 1 sposies! I didn't start with Lilly until she was 2. Think of all the trash I sent to the landfills. Think of all the cute, tiny diapers I could put on his bum...

-And of course, baby wearing from day 1. Lilly loved it. I loved it. We'd be great at it!



Zayden didn't get an amazing home birth. In fact, Z's birth wasn't even amazing. I decided my anxiety levels were too high at the beginning of the pregnancy to make ithe homebirth work. I thought for a minute again at four to six months that I might be able to make it work, but I ended up not contacting the home birth midwife in the area after all. It turns out that I'm rather thankful to have been at the hospital. I lost so much blood that my hemoglobin levels when I left the hospital were around 6.9 and I almost fainted... twice. Perhaps the home birth midwife would have dealt fine with that. I'm not sure, but I'm glad to have had the hospital staff that I did. And thirty nine minutes of labor? It didn't have time to be perfect! It was only painful. Extremely, screaminging into the pillows painful.

Nursing him has been such a pain as well! Like literally. I dislike it. His latch is good though he likes to show me how he can do it over and over again instead of just holding still. He likes to nurse. Nurse like he's trying to wrestle a mountain lion. My nipples hurt. And I have a mighty powerful let down so that makes my entire chest tender and causes him to nearly drown on a regular basis. It's not the amazing bonding (how do you bond with a fussy, constantly screaming newborn anyway?) experience that I thought I'd have. Everyone is different and nursing is hard. I thought I learned that the first two times. I didn't. The only thing keeping me going is sheer willpower!

There has been absolutely no time to cloth diaper the mountain lion wrestling, squirmy as all get out, tiny human that has come into our lives. I am lucky to get a sposie on him before he pees all over me, which he's done several times already. I have the cloth. It's cute. It's not getting used. Life goes on.

So, you'd think baby wearing would be easy. Most babies like to be held. Love it, really. Zayden does like to be held, but he doesn't seem to like to be worn. The last couple times I've put him in the Moby he's fallen asleep, but then woke up a short time later, screaming and only stopped when I took him out. He likes to be able to stretch. Not possibly when you are wrapped to your mama.

Please don't think this is a post complaining about my brand new baby. It's not. It's a post about me and my expectations. Me and my experiences. It's me reaching out into the World Wide Web to let others know that if they are feeling these things, they are not alone.

And for a positive not in this not so positive post... The one thing Zayden does really well? Sleep at night. He's an amazing sleeper. Thank God (or Gods... or The Sandman... whatever you'd like)!

And just for fun... His baby eyebrow. He rocks at the eyebrow thing! 

Life with Zayden

Z turned 4 weeks old on Sunday. One month today. It's been a quick 4 weeks/1 month, but I've also done by best to enjoy it. And capture it in pictures! My only baby born in an age where I can capture their face with a phone/device in an instant!

You poor souls get to see!

In the hospital we stayed pretty bed ridden and just cuddled to whole time.

"I wear bow ties now. Bow ties are cool." And superman socks.

Baby burrito

Tummy Time... I think I'll just roll over!

Two Weeks

I'm 2 weeks old! I like to nurse and nurse and nurse and sleep a bit. I fuss when people hold me. Today I visited my Great Grandma Merriam and like with everyone who visits, I fussed until I got to nurse almost the whole time. Grandma did get to love on me a little bit though!

Three Weeks

Three Weeks Old on Easter Sunday! I like to stare at contrasting things, like black frames on a white wall. I love music which my family thinks is awesome! Grandma Gail and Papa Bommer actually got to hold me for a good long while without me screaming! 

Four Weeks

We went on our first long walk today as a family. I enjoyed the scenery (trees against the sky) and the movement but not the sun in my face on the way home. Now my sisters are walking me around the backyard while mom makes dinner.

Stay tuned for my one month pictures!